February 21, 2013
As I write this, sleet is tick-ticking vigorously against my windows while thunder rumbles and rolls nearby. Darkness like dusk, only with no warm sun slowly slipping below the horizon, is out of place at this mid-morning hour.
This week, between the surprise attacks of exhaustion that punctuate the life of someone with fibromyalgia, and an unusually long (twelve hour) day trip to St. Louis for Roger to see his lung specialist, my series on sin is being delayed and all my Lenten practices have been interrupted. The partial abstinence I planned to observe flew out the window for the week and fasting became inadvisable.
My inner ear issues create a feeling of nausea and instability that sap my will to research, think and write, and allergens blown in by high winds and stirred up from dry soil have tormented me for several months in spite of the antihistamines and nasal sprays I use.
Colleen Spiro wrote Desert Time this week in which she said, “Let God decide my path.” We can be sure that when our good intentions are blocked, God has something else in mind. When we are trying to move out of the space to which He has confined us, He moves us back to where He wants us – all for our spiritual safety and to give us practice in surrendering.
I’m not complaining. The low mental and physical energy are a blessing. I can enjoy visiting blogs like Catholic Spiritual Direction where I feasted on Spiritual Liberty in the Night by Anthony Lilles. This post uplifted me today, comforted me as do so many others by Catholics in love with Christ. Right now it seems I am not meant to stress out over research and writing, but rather to be fed by others so that I can take my turn later and contribute to the table when I have more energy.
I am also enjoying some exceptionally well written, acted, directed, and edited Korean dramas that have elevated comic relief to a fine art. It’s too easy to become locked into our own problems and forget that a well-balanced life needs to include some laughter. If I feel better tomorrow, I’ll get on about the heavy mental lifting. If not, I’ll continue to enjoy what the Lord is setting before me, no doubt to teach me something I can later use for His greater honor and glory.
Thanks to all the dedicated Catholic bloggers whose sites I enjoy visiting and who never fail to educate, inspire or prod me into becoming a better person.
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R. Now and forever!
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